Another security appliance and we’re even more secure – everyone’s happy. Who’s measuring the effect, impacts, any benefits etc and how are they doing it? No, please don’t answer that one. Everyone has an opinion and more than likely, whatever you deem as the best way is more than likely not being followed anyway…..so lets just leave it and assume the thing is working as the vendor said it would.

Thanks David Reyne for this gem. You legend you:
http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s1607394.htm

Swapping David for well read CIO. Oh don’t bag the CIOs again. It’s not their fault. It’s just easier if you just believe all you are told and it’s another project ticked off.

Damn it…..It works! We just need to tell the hackers that it does and to just leave us all alone. Haven’t they heard of “virtual patching” and how they can’t get through all these expensive security devices? Ah, it’s Friday………

Reminds me of a story going back many years to my Net Admin days. (Yes, we had computers then).

Very esteemed and important Consultant moves to our office from Head Office. (We heard they threw a party when he left there but he wasn’t invited). One of the rudest, most arrogant men I have ever met but he was an important consultant so it’s okay to be rude and arrogant to those people in lesser positions than yourself.

Day 1: After destroying every secretaries sense of self-worth, I am summoned by his secretary to make his PC run faster. “They’re much faster in Head Office”, I am told by consultant. (Knowing that is BS because I only moved from Head Office a little while ago myself), I proceed to determine the problem. Okay, it’s a 386SX, 4MB RAM, 20MB HDD running Windows 3.0 and I’ve configured it well enough to run word processor, email, spreadsheet, Lotus Notes and Practice Management System, at the same time, (probably quicker than my Mac does it today). “Not good enough I am told!”. Consultant leaves me to it while he attends to some important business. A little play with config files, expanded and extended memory settings and; “It’s right to go mate…you should see some improvements now!”. Not that there was any improvements. Damn, how much more could you do?

Week 3: Consultant returns to office after important client work. Secretary calls me; “Draz, very important consultant says that his machine is a bit faster now, but he would like it even faster….sorry to hassle you mate….just the messenger”. Okay, repeat work done on Day 1. Report back to consultant that machine is now even faster. (Not that it was).

Week 5: Consultant returns again from important work. [Insert secretaries call from week 3 here]. “It’s faster…but still not fast enough!”. I headbutt my table and move to box of supplies in my office. Remove one old Compaq laptop power supply. In pencil, write “PC Turbo Charger” on power supply. Proceed upstairs to important consultant’s office. Place PC Turbo Charger onto PC base and wrap power supply cable around his PC’s cables (careful not to actually plug it into anything). Tell secretary important consultant’s PC speed woes are now over forever.

Never heard another thing from important consultant ever again. Every time he moved offices, I would pop my head into his new office, and sure enough, PC Turbo Charger was always sitting on his PC! I wonder if he’s still got it today. It’s a bit like Brocky’s Energy Polariser I reckon.

It’s like the security industry today for those who aren’t in the industry. If someone who should know says it works, why question it? If it ends up not working, well there is someone else to blame and in the meantime, we can tick that box and move onto less stressful things. We don’t need to be critical thinkers. The only problem is that the bad guys just don’t play fair. Bastards. Have a good weekend all.